Thursday, February 26, 2009
sing praise
Lately the Lord has been dealing with my heart about rendering praise to Him.
All last week two of my friends, my mom and I challenged ourselves to abstain from making personal petitions to Lord for 7 days. So instead of asking the Lord to meet our personal needs, we were going to substitute in praise and worship. It was ironic that we decided to do this the week that we did, because it was the week where I had alot of things to bring to the Lord. Just alot of stuff that was on my heart to ask the Lord about. But I figured, He knows my needs and what's on my heart already - I will accept this challenge. Let me tell you, that week flew by!
I realized from this challenge that things in my life seemed less stressful and drawn out when I had an attitude of praise and worship. The daily irritants seemed petty.
Although making personal petitions is good and Biblical, this should not be what tips the scale throughout the day as I commune with God. Praise and worship should be the largest part of my life. Why is this!? Well, I think it's because personal petitions can easily tip into the selfish pool, making my quiet times more about ME than God. Therefore, as I determined to worship and praise the Lord throughout the day, my eyes were not so focused on ME but on Christ. Hmmm. The worry and and stress that sometimes hits me throughout the day or week was somehow eliminated and I found myself feeling kinda carefree and joyous.
"Praise helps you focus on what God is going to do in your life rather than you keeping your focus on what is happening around you."
It says in Psalm 22:3 that "the Lord inhabits the praises of His people." Meaning, the Lord shows up when we praise Him. Wow! Sounds good to me, aye!
I am also reminded of the story of Paul and Silas when they were imprisoned and they began praying and singing praises to God. As they did this God showed up and opened the doors to their prison cells and through that, revival pretty much broke out that night!
Sometimes things in my life seem so overwhelming. My finances, my job, my school work and just life, can press on me till I feel I will surely break. And its in those times that "praise" is literally the last thing in my heart to do. It seems so backwards - to praise God when things seem so awful and without hope.
Just this morning I started to think about my life. Everything I have to do, my bills, my work or lack thereof, and I could feel my forehead starting to crease with worry but very smoothly God interrupted me with one word, PRAISE.
I'm not going to lie. I did not feel at all in the mood to praise...I lacked the energy. But I had nothing else to do so I made my way downstairs and and turned on my "we cry out" dvd. Since I lacked the energy to lead myself into Praise, why not let Kim Walker lead. haha. I curled up on the couch and then just allowed myself to be washed in the worship and praise of the Jesusculture band. It wasn't long until my heart became engaged and my mood began to change and my eyes were once again correctly placed onto my King. My Jehovah - Jireh, the One who will provide all my needs. My Jehovah – Rohi, the One who will guide me in all things when I lack direction.
So I choose to put on the garment of praise today, Jesus. For I desire to please You and to bless You. Amen.
All last week two of my friends, my mom and I challenged ourselves to abstain from making personal petitions to Lord for 7 days. So instead of asking the Lord to meet our personal needs, we were going to substitute in praise and worship. It was ironic that we decided to do this the week that we did, because it was the week where I had alot of things to bring to the Lord. Just alot of stuff that was on my heart to ask the Lord about. But I figured, He knows my needs and what's on my heart already - I will accept this challenge. Let me tell you, that week flew by!
I realized from this challenge that things in my life seemed less stressful and drawn out when I had an attitude of praise and worship. The daily irritants seemed petty.
Although making personal petitions is good and Biblical, this should not be what tips the scale throughout the day as I commune with God. Praise and worship should be the largest part of my life. Why is this!? Well, I think it's because personal petitions can easily tip into the selfish pool, making my quiet times more about ME than God. Therefore, as I determined to worship and praise the Lord throughout the day, my eyes were not so focused on ME but on Christ. Hmmm. The worry and and stress that sometimes hits me throughout the day or week was somehow eliminated and I found myself feeling kinda carefree and joyous.
"Praise helps you focus on what God is going to do in your life rather than you keeping your focus on what is happening around you."
It says in Psalm 22:3 that "the Lord inhabits the praises of His people." Meaning, the Lord shows up when we praise Him. Wow! Sounds good to me, aye!
I am also reminded of the story of Paul and Silas when they were imprisoned and they began praying and singing praises to God. As they did this God showed up and opened the doors to their prison cells and through that, revival pretty much broke out that night!
Sometimes things in my life seem so overwhelming. My finances, my job, my school work and just life, can press on me till I feel I will surely break. And its in those times that "praise" is literally the last thing in my heart to do. It seems so backwards - to praise God when things seem so awful and without hope.
Just this morning I started to think about my life. Everything I have to do, my bills, my work or lack thereof, and I could feel my forehead starting to crease with worry but very smoothly God interrupted me with one word, PRAISE.
I'm not going to lie. I did not feel at all in the mood to praise...I lacked the energy. But I had nothing else to do so I made my way downstairs and and turned on my "we cry out" dvd. Since I lacked the energy to lead myself into Praise, why not let Kim Walker lead. haha. I curled up on the couch and then just allowed myself to be washed in the worship and praise of the Jesusculture band. It wasn't long until my heart became engaged and my mood began to change and my eyes were once again correctly placed onto my King. My Jehovah - Jireh, the One who will provide all my needs. My Jehovah – Rohi, the One who will guide me in all things when I lack direction.
So I choose to put on the garment of praise today, Jesus. For I desire to please You and to bless You. Amen.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Least of these...
We had a core group meeting awhile ago, in it we talked about the possible personalities that may enter the doors of our church. Personalities that may have been or are being shunned by society. The transvestite, the homeless, the prostitute, the poor, the dirty, the weak, the young and the old. People who are broken and have been beaten down by this world that we live in.
Someone in our meeting said that by summer maybe we as a church will be ready to receive these types of people into our church. This person said this, with the heart that we as a body of believers have some issues within ourselves that need to be worked out before we can love others like we are called to do. (I think this process has already begun in our church)
You see its easy to love the clean, the pretty, the well-to-do, but when it comes to loving the ones that are not so pretty or clean, we have a difficult time. Even writing that makes me feel a bit of grief. I can be so stuck-up sometimes...so judgmental, critical and harsh. So everything, that Jesus stood against...lived against.
Last night at church two girls in my youth group approached me with a question. They asked if it would be alright if they could invite a kid to come to our next youth group meeting. At first I was like, why even ask, of course its ok. But then quickly they explained the "why." They shared with me that this kid that they want to invite is a little different. He dresses a little strange and his behavior is a bit "off" as well. My two youth girls wanted to make sure that he would be well received if they were to bring him to church.
My heart did a hop and a skip and I could feel pressure building up to where I wanted to weep. I told the girls that of course they could invite their friend to youth group and that I would make sure he felt welcome and loved. I guess what really got to me was, again, that they even had to ask. They had to ask if a kid who is a bit different would be well received in a church! A church! The church is suppose to be a representation of the One we come to church for! The church is suppose to be as Christ! Who did He hang out with?! Who did He choose to be His followers. Who did He fellowship over dinner with?! Who did He die for?! The outcasts, the misfits, the weirdos of society, the poor, the cheaters, the ones that were shunned by the "religious."
My heart is crying out to be like Jesus. To have His heart that beats for others, no matter where they are on the ladder of society. I know though that I have a long way to go because I am so critical and judgmental and harsh. And could it be that who I am and the lame tendencies that I walk in, could it be that this is what is being demonstrated in the church as well? I don't think this assessment is too far from the truth.
Oh to be like Jesus! His compassion and pure love that He expressed unrestrained toward others would put our acts of love to shame.
Here lately the Lord has been doing some things in my life that have brought me to a pretty weakened and broken state. At first I was so angry! Why does life have to be so hard! Then I realized that the real issue in my heart was pride. I thought I deserved more, better. WELL, maybe as the Lord continues to break and weaken me I will develop a better taste of WHO HE IS! He is pounding on my flesh so that His Spirit might reign. He is challenging my pride that I might walk in humility so that I can be like HIM.
I want to love as Jesus loved! I want to look at others with His eyes. I want to be compassionate and nurturing towards those who are hurting and misunderstood. I cannot be that if I'm so caught up with myself, my hurts and my issues, that I'm blind to the issues and hurts of others!
So yeah...I was pondering all of this this morning. Wondering if I'm brave enough to cry out to God to make me more like Him. Because really, am I ready to go through what Jesus did so that I can be like Him?? Yikes...that's a scary thought. However I am reminded of the quote from the movie, Prince Caspian. Caspian says to Aslan that he doesn't feel he is ready to be at the same level as the others (the Pevensie kids). But Aslan reassures him by saying, " It is for that very reason, that I know you are."
So, I guess we shall see. I'm excited/nervous. :)
“And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’ - Matthew 25:40
"But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." - 1 Samuel 16:7
Someone in our meeting said that by summer maybe we as a church will be ready to receive these types of people into our church. This person said this, with the heart that we as a body of believers have some issues within ourselves that need to be worked out before we can love others like we are called to do. (I think this process has already begun in our church)
You see its easy to love the clean, the pretty, the well-to-do, but when it comes to loving the ones that are not so pretty or clean, we have a difficult time. Even writing that makes me feel a bit of grief. I can be so stuck-up sometimes...so judgmental, critical and harsh. So everything, that Jesus stood against...lived against.
Last night at church two girls in my youth group approached me with a question. They asked if it would be alright if they could invite a kid to come to our next youth group meeting. At first I was like, why even ask, of course its ok. But then quickly they explained the "why." They shared with me that this kid that they want to invite is a little different. He dresses a little strange and his behavior is a bit "off" as well. My two youth girls wanted to make sure that he would be well received if they were to bring him to church.
My heart did a hop and a skip and I could feel pressure building up to where I wanted to weep. I told the girls that of course they could invite their friend to youth group and that I would make sure he felt welcome and loved. I guess what really got to me was, again, that they even had to ask. They had to ask if a kid who is a bit different would be well received in a church! A church! The church is suppose to be a representation of the One we come to church for! The church is suppose to be as Christ! Who did He hang out with?! Who did He choose to be His followers. Who did He fellowship over dinner with?! Who did He die for?! The outcasts, the misfits, the weirdos of society, the poor, the cheaters, the ones that were shunned by the "religious."
My heart is crying out to be like Jesus. To have His heart that beats for others, no matter where they are on the ladder of society. I know though that I have a long way to go because I am so critical and judgmental and harsh. And could it be that who I am and the lame tendencies that I walk in, could it be that this is what is being demonstrated in the church as well? I don't think this assessment is too far from the truth.
Oh to be like Jesus! His compassion and pure love that He expressed unrestrained toward others would put our acts of love to shame.
Here lately the Lord has been doing some things in my life that have brought me to a pretty weakened and broken state. At first I was so angry! Why does life have to be so hard! Then I realized that the real issue in my heart was pride. I thought I deserved more, better. WELL, maybe as the Lord continues to break and weaken me I will develop a better taste of WHO HE IS! He is pounding on my flesh so that His Spirit might reign. He is challenging my pride that I might walk in humility so that I can be like HIM.
I want to love as Jesus loved! I want to look at others with His eyes. I want to be compassionate and nurturing towards those who are hurting and misunderstood. I cannot be that if I'm so caught up with myself, my hurts and my issues, that I'm blind to the issues and hurts of others!
So yeah...I was pondering all of this this morning. Wondering if I'm brave enough to cry out to God to make me more like Him. Because really, am I ready to go through what Jesus did so that I can be like Him?? Yikes...that's a scary thought. However I am reminded of the quote from the movie, Prince Caspian. Caspian says to Aslan that he doesn't feel he is ready to be at the same level as the others (the Pevensie kids). But Aslan reassures him by saying, " It is for that very reason, that I know you are."
So, I guess we shall see. I'm excited/nervous. :)
“And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’ - Matthew 25:40
"But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." - 1 Samuel 16:7
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
waiting for hope...
Yesterday was the pitts and today hasn't been so good either.
I got my first ever speeding ticket last night on the way home from the women's Bible Study. I was already feeling pretty weak and down and just flat out melancholy yesterday and so the speeding ticket was pretty much overkill. I haven't cried as much as I did last night in quite some time. My friends came around me and gave me scriptures and encouragement, which helped. Their support is much appreciated. But above all else I wanted Jesus. I wanted the rapture to come so I could be with Him. I went to bed early...just completely ready for the day to be over and for a new day to begin.
My friend Jay told me that I should listen to the song by Brooke Fraser called, C.S. Lewis Song. As I listened to this song the lyrics ministered to me. Here they are below:
If I find in myself
desires nothing in this world can satisfy,
I can only conclude
that I, I was not made for here
If the flesh that I fight is at best
only light and momentary,
then of course I'll feel nude
when to where I'm destined I'm compared
Speak to me in the light of the dawn
Mercy comes with the morning
I will sigh and with all creation groan
as I wait for hope to come for me
Am I lost or just less found?
On the straight or on the roundabout
of the wrong way?
Is this a soul that stirs in me
is it breaking free, wanting to come alive?
'Cos my comfort would prefer for me to be numb
And avoid the impending birth
of who I was born to become
Speak to me in the light of the dawn
Mercy comes with the morning
I will sigh and with all creation groan
as I wait for hope to come for me
For we, we are not long here
Our time is but a breath,
so we better breathe it
And I, I was made to live
I was made to love
I was made to know you
Hope is coming for me
Hope, He's coming for me
Hope is coming for me
Hope, He's coming
Speak to me in the light of the dawn
Mercy comes with the morning
I will sigh and with all creation groan
as I wait for hope to come for me
For me, for me, for me
I got my first ever speeding ticket last night on the way home from the women's Bible Study. I was already feeling pretty weak and down and just flat out melancholy yesterday and so the speeding ticket was pretty much overkill. I haven't cried as much as I did last night in quite some time. My friends came around me and gave me scriptures and encouragement, which helped. Their support is much appreciated. But above all else I wanted Jesus. I wanted the rapture to come so I could be with Him. I went to bed early...just completely ready for the day to be over and for a new day to begin.
My friend Jay told me that I should listen to the song by Brooke Fraser called, C.S. Lewis Song. As I listened to this song the lyrics ministered to me. Here they are below:
If I find in myself
desires nothing in this world can satisfy,
I can only conclude
that I, I was not made for here
If the flesh that I fight is at best
only light and momentary,
then of course I'll feel nude
when to where I'm destined I'm compared
Speak to me in the light of the dawn
Mercy comes with the morning
I will sigh and with all creation groan
as I wait for hope to come for me
Am I lost or just less found?
On the straight or on the roundabout
of the wrong way?
Is this a soul that stirs in me
is it breaking free, wanting to come alive?
'Cos my comfort would prefer for me to be numb
And avoid the impending birth
of who I was born to become
Speak to me in the light of the dawn
Mercy comes with the morning
I will sigh and with all creation groan
as I wait for hope to come for me
For we, we are not long here
Our time is but a breath,
so we better breathe it
And I, I was made to live
I was made to love
I was made to know you
Hope is coming for me
Hope, He's coming for me
Hope is coming for me
Hope, He's coming
Speak to me in the light of the dawn
Mercy comes with the morning
I will sigh and with all creation groan
as I wait for hope to come for me
For me, for me, for me
Monday, February 9, 2009
P.S.
Woke up this morning really sore. I realized it was from hopping and skipping (aka dancing) about last night in the driveway. So, I will have to remember this for future reference.
20 minutes of "dancing" can be a really great work out for...lets see...my calves definitely...and my shoulders too for some reason. :)
20 minutes of "dancing" can be a really great work out for...lets see...my calves definitely...and my shoulders too for some reason. :)
Sunday, February 8, 2009
dancin' in the moonlight
This afternoon I had to bring Natalie back up to Central. On the drive back home, five and half hours later, I felt such a desperate longing to connect with Jesus in an intimate way. It was like an ache deep down in the depths of my soul...like my Spirit was groaning within me. It's hard to explain. I needed intimacy. I needed to be met by Jesus!
I pulled into my driveway, parked the car and then cranked up some worship music (We Cry Out by Kim Walker to be more specific). I then just DANCED. Not a "get it on" type dancing, more just me being FREE before the Lord. It was AMAZING! I felt full and ALIVE. How could I not!?
Peering down on me was a full moon shining in all its glory. Probably quite curious about the hazel eyed girl flailing her arms and dancing wildly about her driveway. In that moment nothing in my universe mattered...it was just me worshipping Jesus in a way that I rarely allow myself. So sweet. So beautiful. So perfect. I needed it...probably more than I can understand at the present.
I felt that maybe I was tapping into an aspect of delighting oneself in the Lord. I didn't have to sing aloud with the song, I didn't have to shout or pray...I didn't feel the need to express myself that way. My heart was expressing itself in a form that my mouth couldn't.
"let them praise His name with the dance, Let them sing praises to Him with the timbrel and harp. For the LORD takes pleasure in His people; He will beautify the humble with salvation. Let the saints be joyful in glory;" - Ps. 149: 3-4.
Hallelujah. Amen.
I pulled into my driveway, parked the car and then cranked up some worship music (We Cry Out by Kim Walker to be more specific). I then just DANCED. Not a "get it on" type dancing, more just me being FREE before the Lord. It was AMAZING! I felt full and ALIVE. How could I not!?
Peering down on me was a full moon shining in all its glory. Probably quite curious about the hazel eyed girl flailing her arms and dancing wildly about her driveway. In that moment nothing in my universe mattered...it was just me worshipping Jesus in a way that I rarely allow myself. So sweet. So beautiful. So perfect. I needed it...probably more than I can understand at the present.
I felt that maybe I was tapping into an aspect of delighting oneself in the Lord. I didn't have to sing aloud with the song, I didn't have to shout or pray...I didn't feel the need to express myself that way. My heart was expressing itself in a form that my mouth couldn't.
"let them praise His name with the dance, Let them sing praises to Him with the timbrel and harp. For the LORD takes pleasure in His people; He will beautify the humble with salvation. Let the saints be joyful in glory;" - Ps. 149: 3-4.
Hallelujah. Amen.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
beautiful beautiful
After I got off work this evening I went over to Arica's to hang out. She fed me and then we had a great time just talking. During our time together we listened to Francesca Battistelli. One of her songs really put words to what I've been feeling lately. The song is called, Beautiful Beautiful. Below are the lyrics:
Don’t know how it is You looked at me
And saw the person that I could be
Awakening my heart
Breaking through the dark
Suddenly Your grace
(Chorus)
Like sunlight burning at midnight
Making my life something so
Beautiful, beautiful
Mercy reaching to save me
All that I need
You are so
Beautiful, beautiful
Now there’s a joy inside I can’t contain
But even perfect days can end in rain
And though it’s pouring down
I see You through the clouds
Shining on my face
(Chorus)
I have come undone
But I have just begun
Changing by Your grace
Don’t know how it is You looked at me
And saw the person that I could be
Awakening my heart
Breaking through the dark
Suddenly Your grace
(Chorus)
Like sunlight burning at midnight
Making my life something so
Beautiful, beautiful
Mercy reaching to save me
All that I need
You are so
Beautiful, beautiful
Now there’s a joy inside I can’t contain
But even perfect days can end in rain
And though it’s pouring down
I see You through the clouds
Shining on my face
(Chorus)
I have come undone
But I have just begun
Changing by Your grace
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
love is in the air
What's this? Two blog posts in less than 24 hours! Haha. I'm on a roll what can I say. :)
As of late, it seems that things in my life have become a little bit sweeter. The sky seems bluer, my job seems less stressful and then for some reason I can't seem to stop smiling. It's as if I'm...in love? Yep, that's definitely the word I want to use. Or maybe its just the feeling one gets when they know they are loved. Ok, it's both. :)
All week long I've been experiencing so much love. It's like I'm being washed in it...like rain. It's so...perfect. I'm being pursued and am loving it. It makes me feel so alive and desirous to just be FREE. Wow...so exhilerating. It's something I have never known. It's so rich and so full of depth.
The verse that keeps coming to my mind is the verse in Hosea 2:14-15. "Therefore, behold, I will allure her, will bring her into the wilderness, And speak comfort to her. I will give her her vineyards from there, And the valley of Achor as a door of hope; She shall sing there, As in the days of her youth, As in the day when she came up from the land of Egypt."
I love that! Mmhmm...so good. God is so good! He has been loving on me all week. In ways that He knows will really bring me a joy and delight.
Monday - was invited to go to Florida for a week in March with my mom and her best friend. Mom bought me choc. syrup so that I can have chocolate milk (something I've been craving!). I got my new worship cd in the mail!
Tuesday - was given my very first coffee mug and with that 2 yummy choc. chip cookies. Plus, my boss gave me a starburst after I taught swim lessons. ;) haha
Today - I got a card and sweet tarts (another something I have been craving) in the mail from a dear friend of mine. AND THEN, tonight at church we prayed the whole time and an African man was there to join in with us! I had just told mom today that I really would love to see people from different ethnic groups come to our church! haha. THEN, tonight after church some of us went to Dairy Queen where James bought Arica and I dinner!!
SOOOO....God knows how to win my heart. Not just with simple gifts (although that's one of my love languages) but also in the way He has helped me appreciate the person He created me to be. I'm being secured in His love which has caused me to venture out of my shell.
"God loves us by liberating us from the bondage of self so that we can enjoy knowing and admiring Him forever." - John Piper
"What must love do? It must rescue us from our addiction to self and bring us, changed, into the presence of God." - John Piper
WOW! That's God giving me the desire of my heart. I heard once that God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him. I do truly want the Lord to be glorified...I ache for that. So therefore, may I continue to find my satisfaction in the beautiful and unfailing love of my Lord. Hmmm, I just cannot express in words how much the Lord thrills me.
p.s. I read Song of Solomon this morning. The Lord's passion puts mine to shame...goodness.
As of late, it seems that things in my life have become a little bit sweeter. The sky seems bluer, my job seems less stressful and then for some reason I can't seem to stop smiling. It's as if I'm...in love? Yep, that's definitely the word I want to use. Or maybe its just the feeling one gets when they know they are loved. Ok, it's both. :)
All week long I've been experiencing so much love. It's like I'm being washed in it...like rain. It's so...perfect. I'm being pursued and am loving it. It makes me feel so alive and desirous to just be FREE. Wow...so exhilerating. It's something I have never known. It's so rich and so full of depth.
The verse that keeps coming to my mind is the verse in Hosea 2:14-15. "Therefore, behold, I will allure her, will bring her into the wilderness, And speak comfort to her. I will give her her vineyards from there, And the valley of Achor as a door of hope; She shall sing there, As in the days of her youth, As in the day when she came up from the land of Egypt."
I love that! Mmhmm...so good. God is so good! He has been loving on me all week. In ways that He knows will really bring me a joy and delight.
Monday - was invited to go to Florida for a week in March with my mom and her best friend. Mom bought me choc. syrup so that I can have chocolate milk (something I've been craving!). I got my new worship cd in the mail!
Tuesday - was given my very first coffee mug and with that 2 yummy choc. chip cookies. Plus, my boss gave me a starburst after I taught swim lessons. ;) haha
Today - I got a card and sweet tarts (another something I have been craving) in the mail from a dear friend of mine. AND THEN, tonight at church we prayed the whole time and an African man was there to join in with us! I had just told mom today that I really would love to see people from different ethnic groups come to our church! haha. THEN, tonight after church some of us went to Dairy Queen where James bought Arica and I dinner!!
SOOOO....God knows how to win my heart. Not just with simple gifts (although that's one of my love languages) but also in the way He has helped me appreciate the person He created me to be. I'm being secured in His love which has caused me to venture out of my shell.
"God loves us by liberating us from the bondage of self so that we can enjoy knowing and admiring Him forever." - John Piper
"What must love do? It must rescue us from our addiction to self and bring us, changed, into the presence of God." - John Piper
WOW! That's God giving me the desire of my heart. I heard once that God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him. I do truly want the Lord to be glorified...I ache for that. So therefore, may I continue to find my satisfaction in the beautiful and unfailing love of my Lord. Hmmm, I just cannot express in words how much the Lord thrills me.
p.s. I read Song of Solomon this morning. The Lord's passion puts mine to shame...goodness.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
simple expressions...
So a few Sundays ago I took the youth group to St. Charles, MO. to the Winterjam concert. Boy was that an adventure. We stood outside in the FREEZING cold for about 2 hours. Then like a herd of elephants we made our way into the arena for the big show to begin. It was packed...10,000 people in one place! After waiting for that long outside we still didn't get good seats. We were in the nose bleed section. Poor us. ANYWAY, it was a pretty sweet concert...if I were to view it in the eyes of a teenager. My lovely friend Arica came with and we both agreed that we felt old. :)
After the concert we then made our way to a McDonalds for a late supper. Out of everything that happened that day, what took place at McDonalds is what stands out to me the most.
We were waiting in line to order our food and I was excited! I'm always excited about food, but on this night it was more than the food. It was the fact that I was around teenagers and that the day (our first youth outing together) had gone successfully. In my excitement I did a little hop-thing. I've done this since I was a kid, its how I express myself when I'm really excited and overjoyed about something. I thought nothing of it...until one of the youth boys, Colin, called me out on it. He said, "Leanne, you hopped. I've never seen you do that before."
Now this really hit me and on the drive home I pondered the "why."
This is the conclusion that I came up with...
For the past month or two the Lord has been challenging me to REMEMBER. He's been bringing things up from my past, the good and the not-so-good. I've even been going through old pictures and reading old journals to help with the process (just being obedient). He's been showing me that the girl I was growing up, the girl that I have tried so hard to put off dare I fall into foolish ways, wasn't so bad. He's been opening my eyes to the good qualities that I had. The person I am now needs to be re-united with the person I was. In the maturing process I lost sight of the girl I am. But as I have grown older, I have obtained a little bit of knowledge, understanding and some wisdom to balance out the flaky and immature areas of my past. The girl I am now has allowed her mind to lead in most things. The girl I was, was all heart (kinda like the contrast between the Tin Man and the Scarecrow on "The Wizard of Oz," hahaha). I was passionate about...everything!
But you see, I am unable to truly be free if led by either.
SO, when Colin said that he had never seen me jump before, really got me because I use to be so expressive. But I have learned to supress that side of me a bit so that I would be "acceptable." Oh what a silly girl I am.
I am an extrovert. I love people! Being around people energizes me. Now I tend to get so insecure and self-conscious. Uhem, uhem...pride! I was fearless growing up because I didn't know there were things to be feared.
NOW, as I've been REMEMBERING things from my past and I've become stirred up...it's like I'm fanning a flame. Passions are being reignited.
For so long I have been feeling so discombobulated. But now it's like my heart and head are forming an alliance!
I'm feeling more FREE, COMPLETE and CONFIDENT than I ever have in my life. It's been an amazing journey of discovery! I've loved every minute of it.
So, don't be surprised I guess, if you see me hopping and skipping about...I'm just embracing the person I am...a free-spirited soul and proud of it. :)
After the concert we then made our way to a McDonalds for a late supper. Out of everything that happened that day, what took place at McDonalds is what stands out to me the most.
We were waiting in line to order our food and I was excited! I'm always excited about food, but on this night it was more than the food. It was the fact that I was around teenagers and that the day (our first youth outing together) had gone successfully. In my excitement I did a little hop-thing. I've done this since I was a kid, its how I express myself when I'm really excited and overjoyed about something. I thought nothing of it...until one of the youth boys, Colin, called me out on it. He said, "Leanne, you hopped. I've never seen you do that before."
Now this really hit me and on the drive home I pondered the "why."
This is the conclusion that I came up with...
For the past month or two the Lord has been challenging me to REMEMBER. He's been bringing things up from my past, the good and the not-so-good. I've even been going through old pictures and reading old journals to help with the process (just being obedient). He's been showing me that the girl I was growing up, the girl that I have tried so hard to put off dare I fall into foolish ways, wasn't so bad. He's been opening my eyes to the good qualities that I had. The person I am now needs to be re-united with the person I was. In the maturing process I lost sight of the girl I am. But as I have grown older, I have obtained a little bit of knowledge, understanding and some wisdom to balance out the flaky and immature areas of my past. The girl I am now has allowed her mind to lead in most things. The girl I was, was all heart (kinda like the contrast between the Tin Man and the Scarecrow on "The Wizard of Oz," hahaha). I was passionate about...everything!
But you see, I am unable to truly be free if led by either.
SO, when Colin said that he had never seen me jump before, really got me because I use to be so expressive. But I have learned to supress that side of me a bit so that I would be "acceptable." Oh what a silly girl I am.
I am an extrovert. I love people! Being around people energizes me. Now I tend to get so insecure and self-conscious. Uhem, uhem...pride! I was fearless growing up because I didn't know there were things to be feared.
NOW, as I've been REMEMBERING things from my past and I've become stirred up...it's like I'm fanning a flame. Passions are being reignited.
For so long I have been feeling so discombobulated. But now it's like my heart and head are forming an alliance!
I'm feeling more FREE, COMPLETE and CONFIDENT than I ever have in my life. It's been an amazing journey of discovery! I've loved every minute of it.
So, don't be surprised I guess, if you see me hopping and skipping about...I'm just embracing the person I am...a free-spirited soul and proud of it. :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
